Enter Wonderland
by Gina J
Summary: What would you do if you found out all your favorite characters weren't just characters, and that you were the Slayer?
1. Following the White Rabbit

Disclaimer: Yea uhm, I didn't come up with any of these characters and all that, they're all the property of the lovely and talented Mr.Joss and UPN.   
  
________________  
  
Its the middle of winter on a friday night. What am I doing? Well, sleeping, and its one fucked up dream boys and girls, one step too many through the looking glass, i think i just might have bumped my head falling down that rabbit hole.  
  
So this dream, it started out likle most of my adolescant romance dreams, centered around James Marsters, well Spike. Either way, they are both way too old for me. So, we're sitting in the cemetary and he's leaning inm to give me a big wet...uhhh, thats not the point. Anyway, the point is, next thing I know, instead of giving me his sweet lovins, the big nutered bad is grabbing me by the hair and whispering in my ear.  
  
'Its Real'  
  
And thats when I wake up. Looking at my watch I see its four o'clock in the morning, and I have fallen asleep at the computer again. Joy. Running a hand through my hair and freezing in mid yawn i blink. Im either going nuts, or someones banging on the door.  
  
'God damn it'  
  
Stumbling towards the door, and tripping over Fuzzy, the fattest cat in the northen hemispher I stand in front of the door. Faded pink hair a mess, and my newly aqquired eyebrow piercing hurting like heck.  
  
Yawn  
  
'Who is it?'  
  
No answer, so probably maing the worst desicion of my life, well, next to making out with that twenty-four year old guy on that cruise ship, I open the door, and my jaw drops to the floor.  
  
Okay, so, I can deal with this. James Marsters and Allision Haniggon are standing on my front porch, which I should tell you, is in North Bumfuck, USA. Uhm, did Margaret uhh, like call MTV's fanatic or something.  
  
Something wierd...was going on. Then folks, the preverbial shit hit the fan. James opens his mouth, and I figure that something is definitely going on, considering he's in character and pulling the Spike act.  
  
'Uhm....can I help you...'  
I take a few steps back and realize I still have to be dreaming. 'Cause here's what he said.  
'Get your things, and don't worry about your mother, don't leave a note...nothing'  
  
Right about here is where I start screaming.  
  
So, James looks at Allison, and she throws some funky smelling shit in my face, and I go black from there folks.  
  
When I wake up, it looks like I'm on the set of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, well kind of. I'm in the magick shop, and the entire cast of Buffy is staring at me like I'm from another planet.  
Did I mention that I'm tied up?  
  
And just when you think things can't get any wierder, James opens his mouth and says.  
  
'Willow, maybe you should explain'  
Now, lady's and gents, I'm definitely lost.   
  
'Um, 'scuse me, but uhm, Isn't her name Allison, and why am I tied up, and if this is MTV's fanatic, don  
t you all think that your going just a little too far?'  
  
So "Spike" glares at me, growls, and I decide right about now would be a perfect time to shut up.  
  
Then "Willow" opens her mouth, and starts talking.  
  
'Your entire life, has been molded by the council, they ensured your favorite television show would be Buffy the Vampire Slayer, only see Gina, it wasn't a show, well it was, but only for you and the people the COuncil hired to make your world seem real.  
See, Sweety, everything you ever thought was real, the people, the television, it wasn't, the council was protecting you, and waiting for when you would be needed, and now, since Buffy has so much going on, well, they felt it was time to put you in to action'  
  
Right now, I'm staring at Allison like she has sprouted a third arm and started speaking in tounges.  
  
'Scuse me?'  
  
This is where "Spike" jumps in.  
  
'You bloody idiot, your a slayer'  
  
I start laughing like a hyena on laughing gas, tears creeping from the corners of my eyes.  
  
'Man, you guys, you had me going, really you did, but see, Vampires, Magick, and all that Jazz, not real'  
  
Maybe I shouldn't have said that. Spike, he looks really mad, and thats when he comes at me, with his, game face on.  
  
Wait a minute..oh..oh boy.  
  
Here's were I faint again.  
  
Slowly I open my eyes, and find myself in a bed, teeth in need of brushingf, and sunlight filtering in through the windows.  
  
No more sushi late at night for me, leads to too many wierd dreams.  
  
Sitting up, I turn my head towards where my alarm clock would be, and see, that standing in a dark corner, a smirk on his face, was Spike, sipping from a glass, a thick red liquid, I didn't need to ask what it was.  
  
I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto. 


	2. Deeper down the Rabbit Hole

Disclaimer: these characters are not mine, and except for myself, are all owned by everyone favorite guy Joss Whedon.  
  
Reviews: Pretty please, I'll give you a coooookie? ^_^  
  
Side note: I'm not quite sure where this story takes place....before Buffy dies, for the second time, during a lull in Glory action.  
  
Chapter Theme score: Blitzkrieg Bop - The Ramones  
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After a hundred or so tired cliche's have run through my confused and pierced head, I manage to utter out a few words.  
  
Or what I think are words, what was meant to be 'What are you still doing here?' came out 'Wha...here do you?'  
  
Oh yea, slick one there Gina, and your supposed to be a slayer, we the jury think not. Someone just slipped some acid in your cheerios girl and your on a bad trip.  
  
Spike, there's really no point in calling him James now, the throbbing pain in my head from being knocked out so many times tells me that, well Spike sets down his "drink" and sits down, a cocky smirk playing across his pale features, what else would one expect.  
  
'Ye might want ta button yer shirt luv...'  
  
My mouth falls open as I look down to my black and white pinstriped blouse, it must have come unbuttoned while I slept. As usual, I don't think before I speak, and while hastily buttoning my shirt, this pops out of my mouth.  
  
'What the fuck are you doing looking..come mierda pendejo..'  
  
I'm still not sure if he understood my Spanish curses. My face flushed a horrible shade of red, we're talking the kind of red old ladies get when their sunburnt, when he said this.  
  
'I can't right help it when yer tits poppin out'  
  
Perfect, and I usually liked to wait until the second date before I show a guy my chest, well nothing else seemed to be going normal, why should that.  
  
I was silent for a long while, eyes narrowed, chewing on my tongue, and staring out the bedrooms window, wondering if it would kill me to jump, and noticing just how nice a Sunnydale sunset is.  
  
A high pitched, slightly perky, way too happy voice, invades my thoughts and snaps me out of my daydream.  
  
'Hi guys'  
  
Turning my head to the door, I see Dawn, and groan, sliding under the beds covers, and praying I'm lying in a ditch somewhere unconscious, 'cause at least that would explain this.  
  
My hand trails to the silver pentacle pendant dangling form a thin chain hanging from my neck, I've had for as long as I can remember. My sister gave it to me when I was born, supposedly, but I doubted that now. None the less, it was a comfort in my new, abnormal surroundings.  
  
Damn it, I missed my cats. Oh..what was this, they were talking about me, Dawn's voice peeked my interest.  
  
'So, she's a slayer, so cool! I bet Buffy is going to have kittens! Oh, or maybe a puppy, I've always wanted one'  
Thats where Spike cut her off.  
  
'We aren't going to tell your sister lil bit, see, when Buffy gets back from L.A., she's gonna be outta here, and staying with me'  
  
This is where I let everyone know I'm still alive by letting out a loud groan of dissaproval.  
  
I hear Spike snort.  
  
'It won't be a pleasure living with you either cupcake'  
  
I'm assuming he's calling me cupcake because of my pink hair, well, as long as he didn't think I was a delectable treat to be bitten in to, for the mean time it was ok.  
  
Letting myself drift off to sleep, I awaken upon hearing the door to my room shut.  
  
This seemed like my chance to get away, jumping out of bed, I start looking fervently for my shoes.  
  
After five minutes, I realize they're on my feet.  
  
And I was supposed to be a slayer, how about no.  
  
Or better yet bNO/b  
  
Now, how to get out, oh, Spikes wallet was resting on the chair he had been sitting on before leaving.  
  
Well, cupcake or not, I was taking the treat, sugar and spice, everything nice.  
  
Not my style, and hey, Spike was hot, but I didn't fancy spending time in a crypt with a vampire jonsin for another slayer.  
  
Gah, and with my luck, I would end up with a watches like Wesley, I shuddered just thinking about it. Running a hand through my hair, and running my finger over my teeth like a toothbrush, I walk to the door testing the doorknob, i should have known, it was locked.  
  
In my peripheral vision, I catch a glimpse of moonlight, hmm, full moon. Wait a minute, window, escape, third floor, so, slayer.  
  
Well, maybe slayer, I didn't know what to believe.   
  
Opening the window, taking c are not to make it creak, i look down. Two floors, oh baby. I'm gonna die.  
  
Did I mention I'm terrified of Heights, okay Gina.  
  
Jump...just jump.  
  
One...two..  
  
But before I can get to three, a pair of large hands, sends me toppling forward.  
  
Shutting my eyes tightly, and waiting for the impact I'm sure will kill me, i start thinking this just might be taking a little too long.  
  
Opening my eyes, I realize I've landed on my feet, and Spike is standing in the window laughing, then he does what I did only moments before and jumps down.  
He lands in front of me, hands on his hips, a cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth.  
  
'Welcome to boot camp slayer, I'm your Watcher'  
  
Wasn't there a rule against that, I'm angry, and do the only thing that come's to mind. I take his cigarette and stomp it beneath the heel of my combat boots.  
  
Never mess with an angry, confused punk girl. Ever. Shouldn't the Billy Idol wanna be know that? 


	3. Paint it Black

Author's Note: Alternating Point of Views in this one, for Spice  
  
Theme score : The Rolling Stones - Paint it Black  
  
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Joss  
  
VERY IMPORTANT: i changed my mind, this story takes place after buffy is ressurected ;p so sue me I'm fickle  
  
Reviews: Yes pease ^_^  
___________  
  
I just woke up, and its nine o'clock at night. Spike's sitting in a corner staring at me, a quizzical look in his piercing gaze, which I have grown accustomed to in the past few weeks.  
  
The quizzical part is something new, my hands move to my face, to push away strands of hair, and I find tears on my face.  
  
The Slayer has been going on like this for weeks. After training, after patrol, she flops on the air matress Willow got for her, and sleeps, and when she sleeps, she cries. Cries for her mother, and her home, and my heart breaks. Willow was wrong to pull her fromt he world the council had created for her. Wrong to destroy her illusion. Gina, she only eats when one of us force her, Willow even got a small refrigerator put in here, and the same stuff has been in there since the witch put it here.   
  
Wiping the tears from my eyes ,I stand up, and start getting dressed. Spike can watch for all I care, because I don't, not at all.   
  
The chit just starts stripping in front of me, and my jaw nearly hits the floor, well, she definitely had the slayer body. God, I need to get ahold of myself, she's fourteen, and she reminds me so much of Buffy, when we first brought her back from the dead. I realize Im staring as she gets dressed, and look away. Yawning I stand up, and pull on a shirt.  
  
'Double Training tonight, followed by patrol'  
  
I'm hard on her, too hard, and inwardly I wince at the harshness of my own words.  
  
Double Patrol for me tonight, great. My muscles ache, and my stomach is empty, but I won't complain, there's no use, fight, eat and sleep. Buffy had too much on her shoulders, so I'm here.  
I'm the workhorse, and glad to play the part, anything to keep away the cold that crawls over me everyday. I used to be a happy kid, my homelife was great, and I loved my friends.  
But it was all a lie. And I'm dead, my hearts still beating, but I'm dead. Its the only thing that makes sense. I have to be dead, to everyone who I lived with, everyone who knew me. To them, I'm dead, and i feel dead?  
I pull on my combat boots, pull back my hair, and get ready to do my job, the only thing that keeps me going.  
  
She's ready to go, and so am I. We exit the crypt side by side, in complete silence, eyes focused on the horizon, and neither of us care what's ahead, because it doesn't matter.  
  
Nothing matters when your dead. 


	4. Back to her Palace

Author's Note: Bad news comes, very bad, but its a must, so yea, heh...woot, good for some, bad for others.  
  
Theme score : Chantal Kreviazuk - Eve  
  
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Joss  
  
VERY IMPORTANT: i changed my mind, this story takes place after buffy is ressurected ;p so sue me I'm fickle  
  
Reviews: Yes pease ^_^  
______________________________________  
  
I'm sitting with Buffy at the Bronze. Neither of us have school in the morning, and both of us need the time to think. The musics low, and its nearly empty, but not closed, s far as I know ths place never closes.  
  
Six o'clock in the morning and still going, not strong, but still going. Sipping my pepsi, Buffy her beer, we share our pain without saying a word. She's the first to break the silence.  
  
'I never was in Hell'  
  
Not a shock, not at all.  
  
'I know'  
  
And thats where this conversation ceased to need me, and Buffy just starts rambling.   
  
'Death is my gift, buncha indian givers they are'  
  
She laughed bitterly, and ordered another beer, the look on my face tells the waiter just to bring over a coffee, she's definately had enough.  
  
'Willow did the spell wrong, I think, because I feel, strange, y'know, comign back, it took something out of me, I came back wrong, very wrong..'  
  
I open my mouth to speak, but she cuts me off. The waiter brigns over her coffee, and Buffy takes it gladly, seemingly forgetting it wasn't what she had ordered in the first place.   
  
'Im so time, and...I just, I'm so weak, a fledgeling got away from me last night Gina, a fledgeling..'  
  
She's taken me in to her confidences almsot overnight it seems. We see a common bond with each other. The bond of those who have been ripped from something they love. Uncertain of what to do, I put one arm around her much smaller shoulders, and kiss her cheek.  
  
We spend the rest of the night like that, and eventually, I end up crying with her.  
  
  
I wake up, to someone shaking my arm gently, and telling me its time to go home. Opening my eyes, I realize Buffy and I had fallen asleep at the Bronze. Great, another lecture from Spike on how a big bad was going to come along and get me if I wasn't careful.  
  
Stretching, I sit up, and shake Buffy lightly, but she's stiff. My hand moves to her cheek, and oh, she's cold.  
  
I don't remember much from here, exept calling Willow, and crying, I cried a lot, the world lost someone beautiful for the second time.  
  
But you didn't see the look on her face, she was so happy, so happy. 


	5. Run the way you did before the nightmare...

Author's Note: None this time, I know, your sad  
  
Theme score : Chantal Kreviazuk - Eve (yea..same, download the song and you'll see why its perfect)  
  
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Joss  
  
VERY IMPORTANT: i changed my mind, this story takes place after buffy is ressurected ;p so sue me I'm fickle  
  
Reviews: Yes pease ^_^  
  
____________________  
  
The minister has come and gone, and Buffy's coffin has been lowered, the sun is long gone, but still we stand around Buffy, silent and stonefaced, waiting for her to come back again, but she won't, and maybe we'll be there forever. Spike's hand on my shoulder is the only thing keeping me standing. The silence is deafening, and Dawn's the first to break it.  
  
'Bring her back'  
  
A whispered demand, that couldn't have been more chilling had it been shrieked by a banshee. Willow goes to speak, but I break in.  
  
'No Dawn, she shouldn't have been brought back the first time, and the powers obviously agree, she's tired Dawn, let her keep her gift'  
  
Willow stays silent, she knows she can't bring her back again. Buffy was gone and hope wasn't in sight. The powers had spoken, had taken Buffy peacefully, and left me in her place.  
  
I'm no fit replacement, but I'll have to do. The shoes are too big for me to try and wear, and I feel like a little girl trying on her Momma's make up, but I have to do it, no running now.  
  
I am the slayer. Not the girl with super strength who does Buffy's dirty work. I am the slayer, and I'm all alone.  
  
Dawns quiet for a little while, and we all think its over, and sink back in to our silent mourning. Tara clings to Willow, Xander to Anya, and Dawn to Giles. Spike and I, we stand alone, exept for the strong hand on my back.  
  
'Your just jealous, you hated her, you hated being the second hand only good once in a while slayer, you WANTED HER TO DIE'  
  
No one speaks, no one tellsd her otherwise, they're afraid to. They all see the glare in my eyes, before I know what I'm doing, I slap my hand across Dawns face. Here's were I turn and walk away. A distant part of me hears Spike repramanding Dawn, and Willow checking the other girls face. I have a temper, and a good arm, but she deserved it.  
  
I've been walking for god only knows how long, when I feel a hand on my shoulder. Don't need to turn around to see who it is. The distinct scent of cigarettes and brute gives him away. Its Spike. Plus i could hear him coming from half a mile away.  
  
'You gave the nibblet quite the shiner there luv, think mebbe you should apologize'  
  
A request, I'm not used to those from him, so I speed up my pace and ignore him. I only knew her a few months, but Buffy had been someone for me. All my life she had been someone for me. I cried when I watched her die on television, and now she had died in my arms. And god, had she looked peaceful. So, beautiful, peaceful and kind. Things I'll never be.  
  
I want her back as badly as any of them, but we can't. Her souls tired, and won't come back even with Willow's spells.  
  
Apparently Spike doesn't like me ignoring him, as he grabs me by the shoulder and spins me around. His piercing blue eyes are met with my golden brown ones, narrowed and equally fierce, and pained.  
  
'Don't ignore me cupcake'  
  
'Don't call me cupcake William'  
  
I shake his grasp, and start to walk again, but he calls after me.  
  
'Y'know, they all would love you, but you gotta stop pushing us all away, yea, you got dealt a shitty hand, but so did all of us, so did Dawn, look at her, she's doing great, keep pushing us all away, and you'll end up alone, even a vampire can't take this much rejection'  
  
I stop dead in my tracks. Sneakers scuffing on the pavement, my eyes travel to the ground. He's right, damn it, Spike's right.  
  
He comes up behind me, a puts his arms around me, picks me up and starts for home. Yes, I like in a crypt, and it is home.  
  
I've fallen asleep, I know it as soon as I do, and I've stumbled on to one wierd dream. I'm in my bedroom, my bedroom before all of this, and Buffy is on my bed, wearing what she wore, the night she died.  
  
I don't say anything, but I know, this is her gift to me. She was to be my guide, and I wasn't going to be so alone.  
  
Standing up, she moves towards me with a grace I can not begin to describe, and hugs me. Placing a gentle kiss on my tear stained cheeks, she speaks with her voice, only, different. So free, so happy, painless.  
  
'Death was my gift, life Gina, is yours, the hardest thing in this world, is to live in it, be sure to tell Dawnie I said that, and be nice to her, you guys are more alike then you think'  
  
She held me like that for a long time, encompassing me in everything good and, light. We talked sometimes, and sometimes she just held me.  
  
Waking up, I realize Spike's holding me, and that I slept through yet another day.  
  
Life, come and get me. 


	6. The Warmth

Description - I don't know, you'll have to read.  
  
Author's Note - Sorry its been so long since an update..months I know, but my lives been very hectic, but the school year for me has finally wound down, and I can get back to typing up stories no one reads.  
  
Theme Score - Incubus - The Warmth  
  
Disclaimer - Joss owns these kiddos, not me.  
  
A note - Listen, it doesn't take that long to read a review, and they are VERY appreciated on my behalf, my writing wont get better if you don't correct me.  
  
Theme score - Hedwig and the Angry Inch : Exquisite Corpse.  
  
*Boys Be - an anime about teenage love and relationships  
  
_______________  
  
On patrol again, and I know Spike is following close behind, I can hear him, and smell him. Stealthy as he is, he can't hide from me.  
  
I stand in one of Sunnydale's many cemeteries, crouched before Buffy's grave. I'm making my nightly pilgrimage, in hopes that once again she'll visit my dreams, and run her hand over my cheek, and comfort me like the mother I never had would, the mother she would never get the chance to be.  
  
Standing and stretching I crack my back, eyes roaming over the scenery, my hands itching for a kill. Its warm, even for the summer, and all I'm wearing is a black wife beater with a matching pair of black pants, made of cotton, or something like it. Unlike Buffy I dress for structure over style, leather may look great, but it restricts your movements, and is a bitch to get blood out of. The trees loom far above the tallest buildings in the area, their branches scooping down, leaves like fingers tickling the soil. It's a clear night, not a cloud in the sky, the light from the moon is harsh, and casts an eerie glow over everything. Tim Burton couldn't have made this scene more surreal, or more unnerving.  
  
Then I smell it, the stench of death rising, my eyes land on a fresh grave, the dirt still exposed. The caretakers must have been too tired to lay down the fake grass. That made it easier for both me and the fledgling. Less waiting on my part, less clawing for the leech. Too Drunk To Fuck is running through my head, the Dead Kennedies, a modern classic in its own right.  
  
Here it comes, crouched over the grave, i see a dirt covered hand, and I take it. The corpse is more than happy to take my help, however, I never hear the woman's thanks, she's dust before she can let out her first post mortem howl. That was satisfying, who needs to cop a few cheap feels in the back of a run down pinto when you can dust vamps.  
  
Stepping back, I pluck a necklace from the ground, it had been the vamps, in life, pretty cool, it was mine now. A well crafted silver ankh, a symbol of eternal life, ironic if you thought about it.  
  
I turn just in time to see Spike jumping from the roof of the small chapel where funeral services were held. Raising an eyebrow, and pulling a sucker from my pocket I grin.  
  
'Don't you have a life William?'  
  
His nostrils flare, as the abrasive sound waves of his birth name caress his eardrums, and I snicker. Our relationship is that of two prepubescent children, who like each other, and flirt through insults and smacks upside the head. Only without the underlying sexual undertones.  
  
In other words, Spike is a little kid, I'm immature, and pestering his unlife is the highlight of my day.  
  
'Ah, piss off'  
  
Tilting his head down to light a cigarette, I'm struck by the beauty of Spike, once again, and scowl. In response to my own internal reaction, I kick a few pebbles in his general direction.  
  
'I'm Busy, whaddaya want?'  
  
A slow smirk crosses his lips, and he takes a deep drag off of his cigarette, exhaling with smoke rings before answering.  
  
'The Group formerly known as the Watson's to Buffy's Holmes, they want to see you, apparently they've caught wind of some big bad thats going to be coming in to town'  
  
Blinking, Spike answers my next question before I get a chance to utter a syllable  
  
'Cordelia had a vision, y'know the usual, but the Scooby Gangs got their panties in a twist about it, so, y'might want to go'  
  
Insert a long pause here, during which I am preparing to let Spike know exactly why I will NOT take their help, but he beats me to it, and all my resolve melts.  
  
'Please Gina?'  
  
'Fine, its been a slow night anyway'  
  
God damn school girl crushes. I feel like one of those Doe Eyed Bimbos in *Boys Be.  
  
After an insult filled walk down the deserted streets of Sunnydale. We reach the entrance of the magick shop. It is the only store for miles that's open this late at night, or this early in the morning whichever you prefer; and it glows with a welcoming light, beckoning to me with its scent of insence and brewing exotic coffees.  
  
Spike entered without hesitation, and the sounds of laughter, and jovial greetings tickle my ears. I want to go in, but really it isn't my place. They were Buffy's friends, her helpers, I am a stranger in a strange place, I have no right to try and fill such a large part in their hearts.  
  
I can't live in fear forever, Buffy taught me that much in the short time I had with her. Licking my ever chapped lips, I push open the Magick Shops heavy mahogany door, and step inside. 


End file.
